You've heard this old saying before: give a man a fish and you feed
him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. You
may even be nodding your head in agreement right now.
Sorry, this saying is all wrong.
When a person is starving, that's not the time to fill their head
with knowledge. The right thing to do is to first give the person a
fish, banishing his hunger, and only then teach them to fish.
Far too often, people ignore this common sense first step. They see
someone who is struggling, and they rush to offer wisdom. "Let me tell
you what I'd do in your position," a well-meaning individual might
offer.
But few of us understand the anxiety, confusion, and uncertainty that
comes with overwhelming need. People in the midst of personal disasters
are reeling. They can't think straight. Their nerves may be shot. Their
confidence may be non-existent.
We all know affluent, outwardly successful professionals who lack
confidence and, at least temporarily, the ability to think straight. Can
you imagine how people must feel in the midst of outright failure?
Rushing to offer a struggling person long-term advice is a waste of time.
Instead, it makes far more sense to help them regain their
equilibrium. Once this happens, once their ears, heart and mind open,
then you have an opportunity to teach a new skill.
What does it take to decide whether a person needs a fish before a fishing lesson? Two things:
1.) The ability to pay attention
Is the other person open and receptive, or looking at the world
through narrowed eyes that tip off just how terrified they feel inside?
You can't just take their words at face value, because claiming to be
alright is a basic survival skill. You have to look at how the person
acts and what they don't say.
2.) Empathy
The more successful you are, the harder it is to imagine what it must be like to be the opposite.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marcus Leong is a columnist, coach, and speaker. His mission is to
help SME business owners to turn their brick and mortar businesses into
online e-commerce and help employees to generate more than
doubled-tripled their income by creating multiple streams of income with
minimal capital required, without quitting their 9 to 5 jobs. He is
also a Non-Sales Approach initiator.
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